30 BEFORE 30 CHALLENGE!
5- Throw away my credit card and any “Buy Now, Pay Later” options (No more “Bad” debt!)
What a good feeling this is! Today I cut the Credit Card and closed the After Pay account!
As I write about this achievement during a time where we are seeing so much inflation there are some butterflies in my stomach due to the difference we can have in the way we see “money”.
However, I am writing it anyway as I know that during my “I want to be rich” day I needed someone to be confronting and open my eyes the way I hope this may for others.
Yesterday was the first time in at least 12 months that I haven’t stressed and put a minimum of $500 of my fortnightly pay onto a credit card or AfterPay, Emotional spending is real and shopping addictions are incredibly stressful. As I have learnt in my counselling roles, these addictions may not be understood as something like drug usage and alcoholism. But yet it can almost give the same “hit” that the individual may be seeking to get them through the day. Crazy isn’t it?
I don’t know about you, but throughout my life it has been normalised to be a “shopaholic” throughout the media. I never actually watched Sex and the City but I was aware of how glamorised the idea of “shopping till you drop” can be. I spent years reading magazines that advise you to buy the newest season’s fashion, handbags, makeup and everything else that is marketed to make you “feel good”. As someone who for years has been obsessed with the fashion industry, I was incredibly susceptible to what I saw around me. It even came down to a silly little “Fashion Queen” award I won at my year 12 formal as voted by my peers that sparked my need to meet the standards that I put on myself.
I sometimes question if growing up where having the “cool” brand names was not an affordable option has influenced what I have felt like I “needed” to fit in. And although even to this day there are a lot of items I still like to have, I know they really don’t make me any more “popular”. I mean, I would rather have people like me for me and not the overly priced Tommy Hillfiger shoes or Mimco handbag that I put on AfterPay to look like everyone else.
Now some people experience credit cards and AfterPay as excellent cash flow systems that work within their budgeting. There are times in my life where I was in this exact boat. However, there are also times where I allowed this to completely spiral out of control because through the highs and the lows in life, this means was just too accessible.
When I was 24 I was advised to apply for a credit card to help me before I purchased my first home. I reluctantly applied for a $5,000 card and spent a good 2 years with anxiety every time I put a transaction on the card. In this same year… My determination to save my full deposit and buy my home to be “happy” was the only thing driving me to go to work (all 3 jobs) every day.
Fast forward to 12 months later and I purchased that perfect little home that was supposed to make me happy. It didn’t, and the intensity of the spending began again! In a little of 12 months I had spent almost $28,000 on Afterpay and still to this day I honestly couldn’t tell you what this money purchased. I had multiple packages coming each week that would end up sitting in a spare room because my physical body and mind was too overwhelmed to even look at them. The dopamine hit would drive me during my days as I looked on my Australia Post app and every time I hit “confirm” on the Calvin Klein order. But there was really no happiness here. The expenses on the credit card were no better.
It wasn’t until I started a new role where I was working with addictions that a light bulb lit up in my head. I didn’t believe I should be working with others if I had not addressed my own addictions. So all was paid off and for a moment there as I also entered into a new relationship I knew it was time to “grow up”. Unfortunately this didn’t last too long…
Throughout my entire relationship the credit card sat at the owing $3,000 mark, I was spending excessive amounts on accommodations, food, travel, gifts and my own clothing and accessories so I could always “look good”. I was spending amounts I could not afford on education because I was in a mindset of when I left my comfort of Wallaroo I would need further qualifications to gain employment elsewhere. So when this relationship ended… The spending spiraled even more!
Camilla purchases would hit over $1,000 at a time because they were “on sale”. My need for further education to feel valid increased to the point where dropping $5,000 on a short course meant nothing to me. The credit card constantly sat on the $5,000 maximum and the AfterPay at the $3,000 limit. All spent on materialistic items that I knew would not actually bring any happiness.
And did you know there is also a pay in 4 option on Paypal? So when I was calculating how much I needed to pay off I hadn’t even realised I was using this service and found a further $2,000 owing…
When thinking about my “30 Before 30” list I knew that entering into this new stage of life I can not bring the weight of my spending with me.
Yes, it is nice to have some of these little luxuries in life and we all have different values in this world. For me, having “things” and excess amounts of “stuff” does not bring any sort of happiness. It brings overwhelm, stress and constant pressure.
In the last 6 weeks I have worked the hardest I have in years to be able to pay down the $10,000 of bad debt. In a way I am thankful that I have put myself in a position to have the potential to earn a high amount of money when I need it. But I will never say it is easy to do so.
I have gone from at least one $200+ clothes package being delivered each week to none. I have purchased a total of 2 take away coffees this year instead of at least one a day (because $6+ a cup is just not in my values anymore). And… I think for the first time in my adult life I have consistently started to make my own lunch instead of purchasing takeaway that I genuinely don’t enjoy anyway.
No one has ever handed me my “money”. I have created it from working hard in my own life and I have learnt along the way that having it does not buy true happiness. It allows comfort, it allows the necessities and it allows financial freedom IF you can value it correctly.
I have no interest in being “rich”. I have an interest in learning from my mistakes and creating a balanced life where I have the ability to invest in the things that truly bring content in my life.
Positive Mind Waves 